Southerners……

 

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

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All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.  They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.  If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

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Only Southerners grow up knowing the  difference between "right near" and "a right far piece."  They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

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Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and Po white trash.

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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

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A Southerner  knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines ... And when we're "in line" . We talk to everybody!

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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

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In the South, y’all is singular .... all y’all is plural.

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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

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When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of  a genuine Southerner!

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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."  Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.  "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

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And a true Southerner knows you  don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way.

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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff ... Bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

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And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

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Bless your hearts ... y’all have a blessed day.