The Release Today of Models of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the North Carolina Market
Wake Forest Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Hecht's. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a cookie-cutter house. Options include tummy tuck, face-lift, greenhouse, and a workaholic Ken.
Cary Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Chrysler minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit. Choose from Mormon or Catholic.
Tarboro Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Ken. Also available in a Mexican version.
Chapel Hill Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card, and shallow Ken.
Fayetteville Barbie: This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's butt when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumperstickers.
Johnston County Barbie- comes in two models:
1) Lives in Glen Laurel; drives a Volvo or extra-large SUV; met Ken in college and worked outside of the home until her first child was born; only puts 50 miles on her vehicle/week -drives from school or camp and goes to the grocery store; has hi-speed internet service and does all her shopping on-line; just remodeled the basement with a new "media" room and had a budget of only $40K with which to work.
2) lives in a trailer; didn't finish high school because she got pregnant; killed Ken in a domestic dispute but was not convicted because it was self-defense; drives Ken's old truck because she can't get credit at those BUY HERE, PAY HERE car lots; works at either Wal-Mart (where she does ALL her shopping) or Smithfield BBQ (uniform sold separately); has at least two kids by at least two different Kens; has never heard of the internet.
Wilmington Barbie: This bleached Blonde speaks with a New York Long island accent and drives her Mercedes convertible (sold separately) through red lights while chattering away on her cell phone. She has never worked outside the home. Her tennis trophies are displayed alongside Ken's golf trophies. She wants real estate developer Ken to bulldoze sand dunes so she can have a second home on Wrightsville Beach (development always improves beaches). Ken is a member of the Wilmington 100 and her home in Landfall is featured in Architectural Digest.
Her dirty little secret?? She's a closet Democrat.
Rocky Mount Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer-gutted, hollow-gold-chain-wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white, barely there, see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG.
Accessories include CD player equipped with Bon Jovi, rusty old Ford pickup.
Raleigh Barbie: This True Blonde shops exclusively in Saks Fifth Avenue. She drives her Land Rover (sold separately). She has an MBA from Duke but has never worked outside the home. Her child's stroller is bigger than your house and her tennis trophies are discreetly hidden behind CEO Ken's golf trophies. She knows enough Spanish to talk with the nanny; Tagalog to speak to the cook; and Chinese, Vietnamese and Korean, to talk with the gardener, house painter, and housekeeper, respectively. She is a lifelong member of the Junior League and her home is featured in Architectural Digest. Her dirty little secret?? She's a closet Republican.
We are working on developing a "Durham Barbie," but she keeps getting shot