The Best of Merged Books and Movies


Second Runner-Up:

"Machiavelli's The Little Prince" - Antoine de Saint-Exupery's classic

children's tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is

embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.

(Erik Anderson, Tempe, Ariz.)


First Runner-Up:

"Green Eggs and Hamlet" - Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger

through his head?  I would not, could not, kill the King.  I could not do

that evil thing.  I would not wed this girl, you see.  Now get her to a nunnery.

(Robin Parry, Arlington)


And the Winner of the Dancing Critter:

"Fahrenheit 451 of the Vanities" - An '80s yuppie is denied books.  He

does not object, or even notice.  (Mike Long, Burke)


Honorable Mentions:

"Where's Walden?"- Alas, the challenge of locating Henry David Thoreau in

each richly-detailed drawing loses its appeal when it quickly becomes  clear that he is always in the woods.

(Sandra Hull, Arlington)


"Catch-22 in the Rye" - Holden learns that if you're insane, you'll

probably flunk out of prep school, but if you're flunking out of prep

school, you're probably not insane.

(Brendan Beary, Great Mills)


"2001: A Space Iliad"- The Hal 9000 computer wages an insane 10-year war against the Greeks after falling victim to the Y2K bug.

(Joseph Romm, Washington)


"Rikki-Kon-Tiki-Tavi"- Thor Heyerdahl recounts his attempt to prove

Rudyard Kipling's theory that the mongoose first came to India on a raft from Polynesia.  (David Laughton, Washington)


"The Maltese Faulkner" - Is the black bird a tortured symbol of Sam's

>struggles with race and family? Does it signify his decay of soul along

>with the soul of the Old South? Is it merely a crow, mocking his attempts

>to understand? Or is it worth a cool mil?  (Thad Humphries, Warrenton)


"Jane Eyre Jordan" - Plucky English orphan girl survives hardships to lead

the Chicago Bulls to the NBA championship.

(Dave Pickering, Bowie)


"Looking for Mr. Godot"- A young woman waits for Mr. Right to enter her

life. She has a loooong wait.

(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)


"The Scarlet Pimpernel Letter" - An 18th-century English nobleman leads a

double life, freeing comely young adulteresses from the prisons of

post-Revolution France.


"Lorna Dune" - An English farmer, Paul Atreides, falls for the daughter of

a notorious rival clan, the Harkonnens, and pursues a career as a giant

worm jockey in order to impress her.


"The Remains of the Day of the Jackal" - A formal English butler puts his

loyalty to his employer above all else, until he is persuaded to join a

plot to assassinate Charles deGaulle.


"The Invisible Man of La Mancha"- Don Quixote discovers a mysterious

elixir which renders him invisible. He proceeds to go on a mad rampage of

corruption and terror, attacking innocent people in the streets and all

the while singing "To fight the Invisible Man!" until he is finally

stopped by a windmill.


"Singing in the Black Rain"- A gang of vicious Japanese druglords beat the

shit out of Gene Kelly.


"Fiddlemarch" - Emotionally dessicated medievalist Dr.  Casaubon is

transformed when everyone in the town reveals that they are jewish and

start to dance and sing a lot.


"Of Three Blind Mice and Men" - Burgess Meredith has his limbs hacked off

by a psychopathic farmer's wife.  Did you ever see such a sight in your



"Planet of the Grapes of Wrath" - Astronaut lands on mysterious planet,

only to discover that it is his very own home planet of Earth, which has

been taken over by the Joads, a race of dirt-poor corn farmers who

miraculously developed rudimentary technology and evolved the ability to

speak after exposure to nuclear radiation.


"Paradise Lost in Space"- Satan, Moloch, and Belial are sentenced to spend

eternity in a flying saucer with a goofy robot, an evil scientist, and 2

annoying children.


"The Exorstentialist" - Camus psychological thriller about a priest who

casts out a demon by convincing it that there's really no purpose to what

it's doing.